


Re: Bond's Latest Cock-up

by soufflegirl91



Series: Souffle's Choose Your Own Adventure April [10]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Bond does not understand the concept of "appropriate use of workplace email", E-mail, Epistolary, M is done with this shit, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23754865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91
Summary: Ever wondered what the MI6 email server sees on a daily basis? This is your chance to find out. A brief snapshot from Q's email account.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Series: Souffle's Choose Your Own Adventure April [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691788
Comments: 27
Kudos: 156
Collections: MI6 Cafe Collections





	Re: Bond's Latest Cock-up

**Author's Note:**

> For CYOA April #5 - Scaramanga's Revenge. Write in a style that is new to you.
> 
> This is the last CYOA fic that matters because I AM VICTORIOUS, but I will be signing off with a Treasure Hunt, Part 3. Tomorrow. Probably.
> 
> This was a bit of an adventure in html for me. Don't like the email look? Just click on "hide the creator's style" above and it should revert to plain text. 
> 
> This one is unbeta-ed, but thanks to Christinefromsherwood anyway, because she answers all my html questions when I'm not following really detailed AO3 instructions.

From: M [M@sis.gov.uk]

To: Q [Q@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: 007’s Latest Cock-up

Q,

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m sure I remember telling you to make sure Bond kept this mission out of the press.

My office, 17:30.

If I’ve got to explain this one to the bloody Foreign Secretary, you can bloody well help.

-M 

Director, Secret Intelligence Service (MI6)

To: M [M@sis.gov.uk]  
CC: Tanner, William [William.Tanner@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: Re: 007’s Latest Cock-up 

M 

No matter how hard I try, Bond doesn’t listen. I did ask for permission to develop an earpiece that delivered an electric shock when he disobeyed orders, but you said, and I quote, “shock collars are illegal in the UK, Q. Even if the double-ohs are worse than bloody dogs sometimes.”

@Bill, if you need anything from me re the cover story, let me know. CCTV being scrubbed now.

KRs 

-Q 

Quartermaster and Friendly Neighbourhood Overlord 

To: Bond, James [007@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: Why do you do this to me? 

You’re sleeping on the sofa, I hope you know that. 

KRs 

-Q 

Quartermaster and Friendly Neighbourhood Overlord 

From: Bond, James [007@sis.gov.uk]

To: Q [Q@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: You love it, really

Oh, come on, Q! The explosion wasn’t _that_ big. Besides, you said no one was using that bridge, anyway.

Cdr James Bond

007 - Shaken, Not Stirred

To: Bond, James [007@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: Oh, so you CAN listen? 

That wasn’t permission to blow the damn thing up! Now I’ve got to stay late tonight to explain to the bloody Foreign Secretary. You know I hate him!

You owe me for this. Have fun flying in economy

KRs 

-Q 

Quartermaster and Friendly Neighbourhood Overlord 

From: M [M@sis.gov.uk]

To: Q [Q@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: Re: 007’s Latest Cock-up

Q,

Have you considered that maybe he’d stop acting up if you stopped rewarding him with new gadgets? 

Just the gun and radio, next time. I mean it. Don’t think I don’t know about those belt buckle blueprints you’ve been working on. 

-M 

Director, Secret Intelligence Service (MI6)

From: M [M@sis.gov.uk]

To: Q [Q@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: Re: 007’s Latest Cock-up

And no fancy cars, either. If he needs a bloody vehicle, he can use the bloody Fiesta you keep for emergencies. 

And haven’t I already told you to change your bloody email signature?

-M 

Director, Secret Intelligence Service (MI6)

To: Bond, James [007@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: Bad news 

M’s cross. I know you probably don’t care about that, but he’s threatened you with the _Fiesta._ No more toys for you until you’re back in his good books.

I really hope you’ve got a better excuse this time than “I didn’t think anyone would notice.”

Prat.

KRs 

-Q 

Quartermaster and Friendly Neighbourhood Overlord 

From: Bond, James [007@sis.gov.uk]

To: Q [Q@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: Not the Fiesta! 

Anything but that!

Maybe _some_ toys… how about that one with all the settings? I know you like that one ;) 

Cdr James Bond

007 - Shaken, Not Stirred

To: Bond, James [007@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: Forget Economy 

You can fly in the bloody baggage hold.

These emails are _monitored_ , James! Do you have any idea how much of a waste of time it is hacking my own bloody system to delete them?!

...But I may make an exception for that particular toy. What M doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

KRs 

-Q 

Quartermaster and Friendly Neighbourhood Overlord 

From: M [M@sis.gov.uk]

To: All Staff 

Subject: Workplace Email Etiquette

It has come to my attention that some members of staff appear to think work emails are an appropriate avenue for distinctly not-work-related conversations.

May I remind all staff that emails are monitored, and this includes within Q Branch. Anyone found to be sending inappropriate communications will be considered in breach of the Civil Service Code of Conduct and appropriate disciplinary action will be taken. 

Kind regards,

-M 

Director, Secret Intelligence Service (MI6)

From: Bond, James [007@sis.gov.uk]

To: Q [Q@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: Did you seriously just get caught? 

Tut tut, darling. I expected better.

...maybe it’s time for some “disciplinary action” ;) 

Cdr James Bond

007 - Shaken, Not Stirred

To: Bond, James [007@sis.gov.uk]

Subject: A detailed diagram of where you can shove it 

I really, really hate you right now.

KRs 

-Q 

Quartermaster and Friendly Neighbourhood Overlord 


End file.
